Apr. 19th, 2006

HUMOR: The Kingdom of God is better than chicken!

(This news flash is best read / heard outloud.)

Nowadays you can get eggs from vegetarian fed hens, free-range chickens, or regular old hot-house hens.

Q. Do you know what the difference is between a vegetarian chicken and a real chicken, a free chicken?

=. The vegetarian chicken is made of tofu? No, I don't know.

A. Nope. The vegetarian chicken doesn't prey. But the free chicken, the real kind, does.

....

It is kind of like the old saying, "There are no atheists in fox-holes." Which brings us to the next question:

Q. Do you know what happens when a fox gets into a hen-house?

A. It eats chicken.

Q. Ah, yes, but do you know why?

=. No, why?

A. Because despite their noise, the fox preys better than the chickens in this case.

==> The lesson then is: Pray while you can!

"Seek the Lord while He can be found. For the night is coming when no-one can work!" - See Isaiah 55

Feb. 27th, 2006

Who am I? - My name

From time to time, people misspell my name:
Mark - that is my brother.
Not me.
Martin - that was Luther's first name & is a bird.
Not me.
Mary - (i.e. Mery) the name of Jesus' mother and many other women.
Not me.

Merq - that is a drug company.
Not me.
Merle - that sounds like curl & is sort of feminine sounding to me.
Not me.
Myrtle - that is a plant or a woman's name, older style.
Not me.
Merlin - that is a legendary name, associated with magic, & sorcery.
Not me. (Various spellings)
Mervyn - that is a store, a TV producer & a fellow I knew in the South.
Not me.
Mertis - ?? (A woman's name.)
Not me.
Murderer - Nope. I preach peace.

"M e r t o n" is my full first name.
It rhymes with "certain" & means "sea-side town." Sort of like Bethsaida: a house of nets from which disciples were called out. Likewise, I have a desire to see the Lord Jesus cast out the Net to Fish for Men."

Mert or Merton is my given name, inheritted from my maternal grandfather.
Joseph is my middle name, inheritted from my paternal grandfather.
(My mother chose the order of the names.)

One of the first three colleges @ Oxford was called "Merton College" - a practical college for engineering & farming. Theology was banned from the college curriculum. ... I wouldn't fit in.

Thomas Merton was a catholic writer of some fame, but no kin. He took a vow of silence & then wrote volumes. ... I tend to be vocal & disagree with his method of "dialogue" with buddhists since he seemed to have given no call to repentance. He did not come to a pretty end.

I guess you could call me, "Beachcomber Joe" without offending me.

Beachcomber:
1. One who scavenges along beaches or in wharf areas.
2. A seaside vacationer.
from http://www.yourdictionary.com

A longer description:
"Walk the beaches along the sea searching for shells, seafans from reefs and occasional pieces of driftwood, the product of nature's work, the tides, winds and waves, depositing treasures from the elemental forces of life. Yes, beachcombing is an attitude, an expressive metaphor for reality, an attraction and adventure, that ranges from the eager inquistiveness of youth to the more philosophical approach that comes from gaining and spending, and being spent, by the fortunes of life, like the flotsam and jetsam along the shore. Sea fans, sponges, sea urchins and other oddities can be found washed up on the beach. Flotsam, debris that floats, especially driftwood that is well weathered in sculptural shapes, adds to the imagination. Jetsam actually denotes part of a ship, or its cargo, thrown overboard in distress, that then floats ashore. ... A good time to go is after a blow or storm. Rocky outcroppings can be explored for marine life ... Seabirds and beach plants add to the ambiance."
http://www.b-v-i.com/Nature/beaches.htm#Beachcombing

MJH: I don't entirely agree with that philosophy: it is sort of a random, purposeless philosophy. Alas, many in the postmodern world subscribe to it!! I do believe in the Lord who sends the storms & can also bring good out of what was meant for evil.

==
What does a beachcomber do is a gleaner at the sea-side.
http://www.seashells.org/beachcombing.htm

A poem on beachcombing:
http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft9908/poetry.html

Of course, one would be foolish to ignore an encyclopedia reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beachcombing

Oddly, some Michiganders would like to make gleaning at the shore illegal. In the process, it is likely that the state will lose some ground in the future. What ever happened to freedom?
http://mlui.org/landwater/fullarticle.asp?fileid=16733
==> Update:
"The Michigan Supreme Court struck down the ban on beachwalking late last summer. The ban was only in existence for a few months, due to a Michigan Appeals Court ruling reversing a district court. But the beachwalker won out with the Surpremes, to our great relief (we filed an amicus brief in favor of overturning the court ban). And last week the U.S. Supreme Court refused to take up the case, so it’s a dead doornail and our beachwalking rights are now secure."
- Jim from the Michigan Land Use Institute.
[MJH: Yeah!!]

Here is the book on Beachcombing:
Reading level: Ages 4-8
Hardcover: 32 pages
Publisher: Dutton Juvenile (May 11, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN: 0525471049

=====

Feb. 20th, 2006

Cartoon Crisis Q&A: What cartoons are Okay?

Perhaps some seeking the Truth will find a hint in the following Q & A format:

Q. What cartoons are okay for the serious sharia-minded Muslim?

A. Depictions of the destruction of non-Muslim nations is completely okay.

Conclusion:
The law condemns and gives no life.
It merely generates more strife.

==
Q. If depictions of Muhammed are ruled out as a general rule, would there be any cartoon depicting God which would be acceptable?

A. Caricatures of God would have to be in an Arabic font to be permissible, but to prevent any fatal fatwas against a cartoonist, it would need to be signed by Muhammed.

Conclusion:
The Truth is true in any tongue,
And tunes are shared among the young.

A desert script shall bear God's Word,
Where cartoon clammer is still heard.

A poet dead is social shame.
The Living Word gains global fame.

The Lord arose and shall return.
Mere ink on paper shall then burn.

Muhammed left a heap of scraps.
But Jesus gives escape from wrath.


==
Q. Are any foods named after Muhammed halal or is this a sort of canabalism which would be non-halal?

A. "Roses of the Prophet Muhammad" may be purchased from Iran. Formerly these were called Danishes. This indicates that a virtual communion is permitted, as long as lots of sugar is involved, there is a subtext of jihad/dawah in renaming foreign or otherwise non-halal foods.

Conclusion:
The comfort of sweet food
Can slow down your fleet foot.

Old David found mere pleasure fails.
But Jesus Christ who rose prevails!

Feb. 16th, 2006

Humor & Holiness: Muslims, Mockery, & the Ongoing Cartoon crisis.

As one who comes from "redneck" territory, though never really a "redneck," I can honestly say that there is actually quite a lot of similarity between radical-tribal Islam & the culture of Rednecks.

1. A high degree of cultural pride:
"We can laugh at ourselves, but don't you mock me!"
2. A deep confusion between nationalism & faith.
"We all know this is God's Country!"
3. Odd marriage customs & arrangements.
"One year my uncle and my cousin met at a family dinner,
the next year they were married."
4. A joy in life that is often forgotten by the more refined.
"Good ole boys have good times."
5. A simple (even simplistic) faith in God.
"God bless ..."
6. Honor as a value.
"Our family has a good name all over this county & the next!"
7. Anger at the "wealthy" who claim to know God but are unwilling to
"git dirty" to express their faith to those in need. "Hypocrit!"
8. Strong family bonds, friendships, and mutual support reaching
beyond more industrialized societies. "We're family."

That said, I have never met a Redneck who was not friendly to Muslims
they knew. That is, when a redneck meets a muslim, they tend to get along spendidly! [Unless matters of faith are mentioned, then ...] Having moved recently from the South to the North in the USA, my wife &
I have observed these differences on the different sides of the Mason-Dixon line:

South:
More suspicious of Asians.
Less fearful of violence.
The Gospel is often socially more embedded.
Dixie (c) cups are used for spitting out tobacco at social gatherings of men.

North:
More tensions between Whites & Blacks.
More willing to trust government power.
The Law is socially more embedded.
Masonic lodges are more common prominent social institutions.

Both:
Muslims & Mexicans are both suspect, though for different reasons.

It seems that a great deal of the current conflict is a result of "stereotypes." In the Bible, the Lord Jesus Himself was not afraid to use "stereotypes" in public when speaking:

Herod = that fox.
Pharisees & lawyers = hypocrites (those under-judgment).
(example: The lawyer who helps people get divorced at work
& helps people get married at church.
- Featured in the Ann Arbor News this past Saturday.)
Sadducees = hopeless (no resurrection).
Jesus also said “Don’t put your pearls before swine.”

Paul called the Cretans, well, cretans! = lazy, brutes, liars, drunk ... about like a modern frat house! (Titus 1:12)

John regarded Rome as “satan” in Revelation. (Which is why I don’t identify deeply with America – today’s imperial power.)

Stereotypes were also spoken of Jesus:

Nazoreans = “what good can come from there” – The hick / red-neck region of Palestine, known to have some revolutionary tendencies. (John 1:46)

Meanwhile the folks in Nazareth figured Jesus had “gotten a big head after all the nice things other folks was sayin’, we best put him back in his place!” Nazareth’s version of a lynching just about followed (see Luke 4).

... I wonder how Abraham felt when he was 100 & finally had the nerve to admit / confess the lie (or 1/2 truth) he had told & had his wife tell that they were not merely 1/2 brother - 1/2 sister, but also husband & wife?

Being “in the world & yet not of it” is the answer to much of the current debate: get beyond how others stereotype you & enter into the realm which God has ordained for you. Walk with Jesus everywhere you go. Talk with Jesus before you ever talk to others.

I think it is the same “Abrahamic” shame over our own sins in the evangelical camp that hinders God from pouring out even greater blessing upon us. Amazingly, humble honesty renders the accuser’s darts useless as we take refuge in our Lord rather than our land.

We have stayed in the camp too long & neglect to put our lives & reputations at risk in order share the good news of returning to righteousness & resting with those who could do serious harm to our own standing: socially, financially, bodily, etc.

A brother spoke of his own variety of Christianity at a denominational meeting I once attended:
"We are like manure:
We do a lot of good if you spread us out,
But we sure raise a stink if you keep us all in a heap."

Stereotypes can thus, have some use, but they can also be VERY dangerous, if you let them govern you:
Example from the BBC:
An Islamic commentator from Pakistan considered the recent burning & destruction of a local franchise of Kentucky Fried Chicken (A USA based company) to be justifed because one (1) publication in Denmark published some months ago 12 cartoons mocking a deceased Arabian poet. For the Pakistani man being interviewed, the firing of the editor of the Danish newspaper & apology by the newspaper was insufficient. He demanded that all "you" [non-muslims or westerners, it was not clear] apologize because "you" are the cause of this.

Honestly, it sounded much like the rantings of religious leaders in Jerusalem who insisted upon the crucifixion of Jesus (Isa Al-Masih) & sought to persecute Saul of Tarsus (the Apostle Paul).

Because it has become so _clear_ that Islam is hostile to all others, it is evident that it will fall. Islam is trying to save itself & defend itself ... & in the process is exposing its divisive nature.

Jesus said that slandering Him as the Son of Man (Fully Human), was forgivable. It is slandering the Holy Spirit which is not forgiveable. May many more find the grace of our Lord in these last days. May God show His mercy to those who rant & rave & riot.

Please pray for me, as I often work where folks are hostile to the Gospel. May the Lord's Honor not diminish in the eyes of those I serve because of my own foolishness.

Born in the North.
Raised in the South.
Traveled to various nations.
Living in the North.

Following the Lord Who was buried in a borrowed tomb, now empty:
Who Is the God of Abraham, whose only land was a grave-plot when he died.

Peace in Christ,
Mert Hershberger
mertaka@everybody.org
www.pray-ap.info

Dec. 26th, 2005

Sign Slogans from India

#1. Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khana free.
(Coming is free, going is free. If caught, food is free.)

#2. Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.
She may be your grandmother!

#3. Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative:
The more success, the more relatives.

#4. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.

#5. A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they aren't old enough ...
... or else they never will be.

---
www.pgv.com

Sep. 21st, 2005

HUMOR: Did you hear about the new chicken deal at ____?

J: Did you hear about the new deal on for chicken at The Captain's Crazy Chicken?

N: No, what is it?

J: It is called, "The Spider Bucket."

N: What is in it!?!

J: It has 8 legs and 100 eggs!!

===
for those who need a laugh.

February 2007

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